Category: insights/observations

A Man with a Villa? ha

On By KathleenIn insights/observations, Love in Brief, marriage, relationshipsLeave a comment

While watching House Hunters International:

Mum: I’d be really happy if you found a guy who could buy you a vacation home on the Riviera.

Me: I’d be happy if I found that guy too. But so far there’s been Mr. Going Nowhere, Mr. Been Nowhere, and Mr. I Don’t Know Where the Hell I am. If there’s to be any vacation home in my future, I’ll be the one making a down payment.

Nice is pretty darn nice

Greetings

On By KathleenIn insights/observations, relationshipsLeave a comment

I’m an awkward hugger.

There, I’ve said it. The truth is out there. That cheerful, wide-arm approach when I see you is really brimming with fear at the thought of how we’re about to say hello. There’s a hug on the horizon and I’m going to try not to headbutt you in the process.

I didn’t realize how hug-challenged I was until college. All of a sudden the universal greeting among new-found friends was some sort of exuberant embrace. The hug would actually begin several feet away — the person walking my way would throw their arms wide, warning me  that they expected contact. I’d try to respond with equal enthusiasm, only to fumble with arm position and head placement once inside the “hug zone.” One arm up, one arm down? Both arms up? Both arms down? Full wrap around? One arm only? Pat on the back? Head to the right? Head to the left? Let them break first? Or make a quick exit?

If positioning and timing aren’t cause enough for concern, there’s a handful of other things I’m self-conscious about when heading into a hug. There’s often a purse or a bag that has to be repositioned and then there’s always the fear that, if I’ve been walking around a lot, that my anti-persperiant has failed me. I have a lot of hair, it’s thick and some what curly, I rarely try to reign it in — anyone who gets near enough to hug me is guaranteed to get a face full of it.

And then what about the added cheek kiss? I’ve never fully understood how to engage with this. I’ve accidentally landed “mwahs” on the ears of guy friends who were taken aback by the out of character greeting. “no that wasn’t a nibble. That was bad distance management.”

Surely, “Hellos” shouldn’t cause this much anxiety.

I thought maybe the French-style kiss on each cheek would be great replacement for the hello hug, but then I realized there are just as many variables to consider when engaging (and when the opposite sex is concerned, far many more opportunities to send “mixed” messages).

So, after hundreds of hugs that lead to near concussions and jammed fingers, I’ve settled on a universal approach: my head to the right, the left arm up, the right arm down.

I warn you now, so the next time we say hello, you’ll aim left.

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking”

On By KathleenIn Dating, insights/observations, romanceLeave a comment

I believe in walking.  I walk with purpose, even when I’m walking simply for walking sake. I walk briskly, even when I have no where in particular to go. And I walk daily, whether around the town or up and down my backyard. It’s about the fresh air, it’s about the calorie burn, it’s about “setting up house in the heart of the multitude, amid the ebb and flow” of the city, it’s mostly about the escape.

One of the things I like about traveling abroad is that I get to see the world by foot. A plane and a car may get me to a city, but once I’m there, it’s my feet that take me for a wander down streets, through museums, and across parks. A few weeks ago I was in Germany during the worst part of the year, the most “off” of the tourist off-season. Despite the cold and the snow, feet were still the most efficient mode of transportation. Heading out at dusk to grab dinner, I was rather taken with what seemed to be a widespread evening ritual. Husbands and wives, bundled up and out on the street, walking arm in arm. The couples were mostly “older” (>40) and never seemed like they had any particular place to be. I was in one town for 3 dinners, and each night the same husband and wife would tip their hats to me as I headed out for some Saxon potato soup.

Maybe this isn’t a German phenomenon, but if couples head out arm in arm daily at dusk in New York City, it certainly never stood out to me before. Holding hands? Yes, I’ve seen that a lot. But hand-holding is ephemeral. Arm in arm is a more committed and sturdy physical union, and it’s a NYC rarity. But maybe that’s because  people in the Big Apple seem to move too fast to walk arm in arm with anyone else.

So by the 4th German city and the 8th German dusk, I had got to thinking…

Carrie Bradshaw wanted someone to stand still with (skip to 7:39), but I think it’s nicer to have someone to walk with. Someone who doesn’t mind ambling 7 blocks with you to get a latte, even when the best cup of joe on the Upper West Side can be easily found at the cafe not 15 meters from your front door. Yes, it’s a lovely idea to have someone to walk with. Not next to, but with — arm in arm, heading down the same road together, both leading and supporting one another as you travel through the day and into the night.

Eccentricities

On By KathleenIn insights/observationsLeave a comment

Every so often, I feel like people should come with some sort of disclaimer — “I do these things, I don’t always mean to do them, and you might find them annoying.” Everybody has little ticks, strange habits, oddities, things they do or say that they don’t notice but everyone around them does. Sometimes they’re super irritating (like that girl who incessantly twists that one strand of hair between her fingers in the movie theater throughout the entire duration of the movie).  Sometimes they’re innocuous (almost cute) quirks.  Deal-breaker or adorable, either way I wouldn’t mind knowing in advance if the person I’m about to have coffee with for the first time has a few ticks that might catch me off guard… like, you know, he cleans his teeth at the end of the meal with his napkin…

So friends, here is my disclaimer:

  • Whenever I order from a counter, whether at Starbucks or the Carnegie Deli, I stand on my tiptoes. Regardless of the counter’s height (obviously).
  • If I tell you I’m going to email you, I emphasis that promise by air-typing… with both hands.
  • I can’t sleep with the closet door open.
  • When I hear classical music, the fingers on my left hand start playing the air violin.
  • I hate commercials on the radio, so I flip between stations to avoid them. I also change radio stations to avoid Billy Joel songs.
  • I use the following phrases/words almost to excess: So, the thing is…, word, indeed, does that make sense?, there are two/three (with appropriate fingers raised) reasons why…, let me say this about that…
  • I have a habit of leaving cupboard doors and drawers open. (I’m working on actually fixing this one…)
  • When I get laughing, like really laughing, I squeak… not snort, squeak. It’s only a single squeak, but it’s a squeak nonetheless.