Every so often, I feel like people should come with some sort of disclaimer — “I do these things, I don’t always mean to do them, and you might find them annoying.” Everybody has little ticks, strange habits, oddities, things they do or say that they don’t notice but everyone around them does. Sometimes they’re super irritating (like that girl who incessantly twists that one strand of hair between her fingers in the movie theater throughout the entire duration of the movie).  Sometimes they’re innocuous (almost cute) quirks.  Deal-breaker or adorable, either way I wouldn’t mind knowing in advance if the person I’m about to have coffee with for the first time has a few ticks that might catch me off guard… like, you know, he cleans his teeth at the end of the meal with his napkin…

So friends, here is my disclaimer:

• Whenever I order from a counter, whether at Starbucks or the Carnegie Deli, I stand on my tiptoes. Regardless of the counter’s height (obviously).

• If I tell you I’m going to email you, I emphasis that promise by air-typing… with both hands.

• I can’t sleep with the closet door open.

• When I hear classical music, the fingers on my left hand start playing the air violin.

• I hate commercials on the radio, so I flip between stations to avoid them. I also change radio stations to avoid Billy Joel songs.

• I use the following phrases/words almost to excess: So, the thing is…, word, indeed, does that make sense?, there are two/three (with appropriate fingers raised) reasons why…, let me say this about that…

• I have a habit of leaving cupboard doors and drawers open. (I’m working on actually fixing this one…)

• When I get laughing, like really laughing, I squeak… not snort, squeak. It’s only a single squeak, but it’s a squeak nonetheless.