We race through Mondays to Tuesdays, onto Wednesdays through Thursdays, from Fridays into Saturdays holding a venti, extra-shot, non-fat latte in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Ah, thank heavens for Sundays! For on Sundays, we get to meander through the day holding an iced mocha in one hand and our sweetheart’s hand in the other.
…to find a rich husband.
I’ve felt pretty run down for the last few weeks. A friend told me it was because Mercury was in retrograde. I had a feeling it might have more to do with the fact that I don’t eat red meat and tend towards anemia. So rather than hit up my psychic for a reading, I decided to head to my doctor for a vitamin b shot.
I walked into Dr. S’s office armed for battle: “a week ago” and “I’m working on it.” But rather than the usual “when was your last period? do you have a rich boyfriend yet?” I was directly confronted with the worst: “So, where’s my invitation to the wedding?”
“I haven’t had them printed yet?” I laughed uncomfortably as he stuck my arm with the needle.
“Seriously, do you have a rich boyfriend yet.”
“Yes, and his name is Gary and he collections art.”
“Really! That’s fantastic.”
“No, not really.”
“Oh. Well just remember, it’s as easy to fall for a poor man as it is for a rich man. Just make sure you fall for the rich one… now please, go eat a hamburger.”
Hamburger? maybe tomorrow.
Rich boyfriend… maybe after the hamburger.