Men think women are complicated. Truth is, we’re not. Sure we over analyze your every actions. Sure, we’re often subtle. But in the end when we think you might be our Prince Charmings, we have our ways of letting you know.

She’s Just sooo that into you if…

she always picks up the phone when you call.
We have caller ID. As soon as we meet you we store your number, or at least memorize a few digits. We know when you’re calling. In a similar vein, we’ll call you back within a few hours if you leave a message. We try to follow the rules, but we always get back sooner rather than later. Usually, we’re so excited that you called that we tend knee-jerk react to your interest — we don’t want to take a chance you’ll forget about us or replace us with that hot girl in the check out line at the bodega.
She’s just not that into you if she doesn’t call you back — but you probably already knew this, since it’s how you let us know that you’re just not that into us.

she emails you articles/youtube videos/book titles she thinks you’ll like.
This means she’s been paying attention to the things you’re interested in, and wants to let you know she’s thinking about you. The next thing she’ll do is send you a note that she listened to that Rolling Stones album you’ve been raving about and agrees that track 5 is her favorite too.
She’s just not that into you if she can’t remember the name of your favorite band/book/movie/parent/dog. “Another Brick in the Wall” is your cell phone ring; there’s a poster of The Other Side of the Moon’s cover on your wall; you frequently mention that David Gilmour is the greatest guitarist of the century; you’ve told her Pink Floyd is greatest band of all time. But she buys you a Beatles t-shirt for your birthday because she thinks that’s your favorite band. If she can’t remember the things you like to do, then she’s not listening to you. If she’s not listening to you, she’s just not that into you.

she’s not having sex with you.
This may seem a bit contradictory to you, but women who think they have a chance at a successful long term relationship with a guy try to put off sex until they’re sure the relationship is monogamous. If she likes you, she’ll stay over, there’ll be below the belt action, but she won’t do you until she knows it’s going somewhere.Women aren’t like men — most can’t get sexually involved and remain emotionally detached. Hopefully, she’s already warned you that you’re going to have to wait to get the goods.
She’s just not that into you if she sleeps with you on the first date. If she put out that fast, she’s already decided it’s not going anywhere, or she’s just out for some fun. She’s playing you like you’d play her.

you’ve never seen her without makeup.
When a girl likes a guy, she always makes sure she looks like an Ace when she sees him. The necklines are low, the jeans fit well, her hair is always down and she has lip gloss and eyeliner on. Even if the date is a casual pick-up football game, she’s still sporting the bronzer and the push-up bra.
She’s just not that into you if she’s covering up the cleavage. Women know men want boobs. If the shirt is buttoned up, or she keeps her arm over her chest when she’s around you, she doesn’t want you looking and if she doesn’t want you looking she’s just not that into you.

she always has something nice to say about you.
Sure she busts your balls, but she always mitigates it with some sort of compliment — has anyone ever told you you like like Ben Affleck?, that shirt’s a good color for you, I wish I knew that much about carburetors etc. She may be being honest, but in the end she wants to make sure you know she thinks you’re cute/funny/a decent guy.
She’s just not that into you if she says say nice things about someone else. Sometimes, girls will mention another guy’s abs or another guy’s sense of humour to see if you react. But if she’s always mentioning the same guy, always with some sort of praise, then she’s into him and not you. If she says she just wants to be friends, believe her.

she finds time to hang out with you.
She’s a busy girl — she works an 8-6, she takes French classes, she’s training for a triathlon, she volunteers with meals on wheels etc etc, but when you suggest grabbing lunch on saturday afternoon, when she typically goes shopping with her gal-pals, she’ll tell you she’s free (and if she’s legitimately not because she’s in China, then she’ll suggest another time).
She’s just not that into you if she always has an excuse for not hanging out with you. She’s not playing hard to get, she really doesn’t want you to get her. She’ll only keep her distance for so long — natural insecurity sets in and if she likes you, she doesn’t want you to lose interest. If she’s never around for you, then she’s just not that into you.

*This blog was originally posted on my alter ego, “Meet Me in the Drawing Room.”