Meet Me in the Meat Market

luuuurve in the produce department... so that's how guacamole is made...

I’ve always believed that supermarkets are the best place to play the pick-up game. Bars and clubs are unoriginal, expected, and often bothersome. But a flirtation in the oil and vinegar aisle, on the other hand, is surprisingly refreshing and thoroughly endearing.

You can gather more reconnaissance on a stroll past the cereals than during a 5-minute speed date. How a person moves through the produce section is extremely revealing, and a quick survey of a person’s shopping cart items easily helps you determine compatibility. Plus, there are few conversation starters as effective as a mutual interest in wild sockeye salmon recipes.

Yes, Whole Foods is the new OkCupid.

Today, I found an admirer while stocking on my Stoneyfield Farms maple-vanilla yogurt. There were smiles and waves before we went our separate ways, crossing paths and waving again in front of the wheels of parmigano regiano and the shelves packed with tea. Finally, as I waited in line for my iced latte, I felt a tug at my shopping basket. Before I could turn around, a white fluffy blanket hit my face.

I’ve had some pretty forward advances in my time, but no one’s ever thrown their bedding at me before… at least, not in public. He was pretty serious.

It was then his mother apologized. “He just turned 3. And I thought the twos were terrible!”

“I think I’m a little old for you, tyke,” I said as I handed the toddler back his blankie.

Okay, so it wasn’t the 6′, blue-eyed, dark-haired, wedding-band-less 30-something who smiled at me when I crashed into him while reaching for a head of radicchio, but this toddler dug me. And attention from a cute boy, even if he’s in a diaper, should never fail to flatter.

Next week my local Whole Foods is having a sale on t-bone steaks. I’m telling ya, it’s gonna be the new single’s night…

4 thoughts on “Meet Me in the Meat Market

  1. John Paul

    Really, trolling for the a 30 something… Your just perpetuating the ageism cycle that comes back and bites females in the rear…. Once a guy becomes creditable, the city is just one big turkey shoot.

    Also, in a 2 mere decades you’ll be praying for that little boy to approach you, you should have gotten his number; get ahead of the curve! hahah

    On a side note, I have a blog topic request, sorta. I imagine you ask yourself often, what can ‘that’ guy offer me (allot), but have you ever put yourself through a truthful examination asking yourself “What is it that I can offer a guy – what is it that I cannot offer?”

    1. Kathleen

      My dear Johns, you both take me too seriously. I agree that ageism is holding women and men (hello, younger secretary!) back — I’ve met recent male high school graduates that have their act together better than many men in their 40s. Likewise, I know many women in their 20s who have no business being out of preschool.

      and stay tuned… your request is a fair one, and shall be appropriately fulfilled.

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