Sometimes, We Women have to Think like Boys

It’s true. Sometimes, ladies, when it comes to how we approach relationships, we have to dumb it down a bit and simplify. Sometimes we need to chill out, go with the flow, stop focusing on the details, and stop wondering about “what’s next.” I don’t mean we need approach men like men approach women, that is we don’t need to turn into Samantha Jones — we don’t have to see all men as one night stands only.

Think back to the last guy you developed a thing for. Remember all the time you spent analyzing his body language, the things he said, the things he didn’t say, the way he touched you, the way he didn’t touch you? Remember how you forwarded all his text messages, his voicemails and his emails to all your friends for their opinions? Remember how you relished the fact he didn’t untag himself in that suggestive picture your mutual friend posted of the two of you? (Thanks Facebook for adding that many more things for us females to obsess about!)

Then there was that first flirtation after you broke up with your boyfriend. Remember how you went back and forth on how you felt about “rebounding?” I don’t want another relationship right away, but I wouldn’t mind a hook-up. I’m friends with him, so it could be fun, but can we stay friends. Is it okay to use him. etc etc.

Do you realize how much brain energy you’re using on all this?! Naturally, women are more inclined to analyze details — to seek deep meaning in small actions. And we’re not going to change. look, let’s agree it’s kinda fun to obsess a little bit over new crushes. We like the ambiguity, and the more we think about it, the more mysterious the whole thing gets. Mysteries are intriguing and they’re a hell of a lot more interesting than pushing papers around on our desk. But the more we analyze, the farther away we get from our gut. Sometimes when we’re in a room with a guy — whether its side by side on a couch or across the table at a restaurant — we need to tell our brain to just Shut Up. Ignore the details, because when it comes to guys, it’s rarely in the details. It’s pretty clear.

Know what you want, take it if you’re being given it and don’t spend half the evening trying to decode or decide. Love may be a string of chemical reactions in the brain, but it’s also something in the heart. And so’s lust. So ladies, when it comes to guys, sometimes be a bit of a guy: turn on, tune in, drop out, and let the relationship just happen.