Skip to content

They Told Me to Find a Rich Husband

Just another 30-Something female considering how we live and love now.

  • About
  • Quotes, Inspiration & Humour

Tag: Royal Engagement

Kate Middleton Stole my Gig

On November 22, 2010November 22, 2010 By KathleenIn Love, marriage, Mr. Right5 Comments

Kate Middleton, stole my gig.

Okay, so technically Prince William’s fiancee didn’t know we were in direct competition for the title role of Future Queen of England, but had she, I’m sure she would have been concerned. With CVs startlingly similar, she probably doesn’t realize how close she came to being runner up. Kate, you owe Ollie a thank you note…

We're both brunettes with degrees in art history and an affinity for elaborate hats

Kate is a Catherine, I’m a Kathleen who could have been a Kate.

We’re both brunettes with pronounced cheek bones, degrees in art history, and an affinity for elaborately embellished hats.

According to the standards of our respective homelands, we’re both considered “commoners.”

Everyone we know has told us to find a rich husband.

As for any concerns the British subjects might have about my being an American, I can easily put those to rest.  My parents are children of the Commonwealth —  my father is South African and my mother is Canadian. My cousin Mable and her husband were Mi-5. She was made a Dame after she was injured protecting the Queen in an IRA bombing. Her husband was friends with Ian Fleming. I spell color “colour” and favorite “favourite.” I don’t know, but I think all that makes me an excellent representative of the Modern British Empire.

Even though I was a legitimate contender, Kate had one thing I lacked: access.

I may not be as quintessentially English as this scene, but I'm could make it work

I was last in the UK in 2007 when Kate & Prince William were on the fritz. The time was right and I was in Bath, staying in a small B&B on Bennett Street only a stone’s throw away from his Highness’ favorite Polo grounds. Armed with my Burberry oil-skin coat, riding boots, and feathered velvet wide-brimmed hat, I was ready to rope me a royal. Alas, stomping around the English countryside, stopping to pose in front of old English manors while hunting for the glimmer of a crown jewel proved fruitless.

Remembering I had a cousin living just outside Windsor, I bolted from Bath to get closer to the mother-ship. The Queen was apparently in residence, and as I stood at the foot of the Windsor Castle walls I considered my options. Perhaps scaling the battlements wasn’t the best way to secure an audience with the Royal Family. More likely, it would secure an uncomfortable meeting with some disgruntled Mi-5 agents and an extended stay in the Tower of London. Determined not to go home sans Prince, I took my tourist-sized Union Jack and marched to the nearest pub to plot.

Prince William and I never met, and for that, Kate, you owe a bartender named Ollie

I never met Prince William while in Windsor, and for that Kate, you can thank the bartender, Ollie, for being a terribly good distraction.

All kidding aside. Kate Middleton, I congratulate you and His Highness on your engagement. You were a worthy rival and I applaud you on your deserved victory.

However, in the unlikely event your brother-in-law-to-be, Prince Harry, develops tastes in females similar to those of his older brother, you know where to find me… I think we’d make tremendous sisters-in-laws.

They Told Me to Find a Rich Husband

They Told Me to Find a Rich Husband

They Told Me to Tweet

Tweets by FindRichHusband

Recent Adventures in So-Called Adulthood

  • Considering Types: Dating your Ex’s Doppelganger
  • Fresh to Market
  • My Right to Bear Arms is One I’m OK with Losing.
  • The Blind Date Who was an Hour Late: a Time Out NY Undateable Follow-up
  • TFW You Step on the “Text Messages with your Ex” Landmine
  • What you already knew about other people’s weddings.
  • Taxi Driver Horoscopes: A Second Date, Unsolicited Advice, and a Two-Bite Brownie
  • The New Jewels in the Jewelry Box: Considering a Gem of an Ex

Archives

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,140 other subscribers

advice art beauty Blog blogging books break-ups Breakups career Christmas culture Dating dating advice education entertainment events facebook family fashion feminism fitness food friends growing-up holiday holidays home humor insights jobs life lifestyle local love marriage memories men men and women modern love movies mr. right music musing musings news new year New Year's Resolutions new york new york city online dating people personal picking up dates reflections relationship relationships romance sex and the city shopping single in manhattan snow social media sports television thoughts travel TV vacation valentine's day weather weddings winter women work writing

Social

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Start here

  • About
  • Quotes, Inspiration & Humour
Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • They Told Me to Find a Rich Husband
    • Join 277 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • They Told Me to Find a Rich Husband
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...