What to do when You’re an Adult with a Snow Day

Nemo found us.
Nemo found us.

We didn’t know we were looking for him, but Nemo found us and brought with him some friends: snow, sleet, winds, ice, closed offices, and a long weekend.

Booya!

When you’re a kid, snow means endless possibilities all of which allow you to throw off responsibilities, built forts and live in a world of storybook make believe. When you’re an adult, the opportunity to stay out of the office, off the roads, and forgo errands opens the doors to all sorts of “grown-up” activities. Here are a few thoughts about how to spend your snowed-in Nemo weekend.

Turn your living room into a yoga studio

Or a personal gym. For the last year, I’ve been receiving daily (or is it weekly?) emails from Women’s Health and Shape magazine with smart, fast, efficient at home workouts. They’ve been accumulating digital dust in my inbox as have the various resistant bands and kettle bells I’ve collected over the years (in my defense — I do have a gym membership that gets exercised 5 times a week). But the blizzard was a good excuse to see if that 8 minute workout really does the trick… summer abs, here I come, courtesy of Nemo.

Learn how to work your curling iron

I’m infamously terrible at using styling appliances. Even an eyeliner pencil has been turned into a near weapon in my presence. I thought the mastering of a diffuser to dry my curls was monumental. And then for Christmas, a thoughtful friend gave me a curling iron to “help me tame my tresses on opening nights!” I think I thought this was a good idea…. until the 3rd degree burn on my ear and the malfunction that somehow turned the curling iron into a flattening iron. How does that work?

By the time Nemo rolls through, I’ll be a styling pro.

Get crafty. Make your own Valentines!
Get crafty. Make your own Valentines!

Make homemade Valentines

It’s only a few days away, and hallmark isn’t what it used to be, let’s face it. Why not get crafty? Or, there’s always macaroni picture frame if greeting cards ain’t your thang.

Cook a big pot of soup

Or throw together a hearty cassoulet. If home-cooked meals are something you haven’t had a chance to do for a while, there’s no better excuse to make a big pot of some comfort food.

and now for my favorite…. last but not least….

Revert to being an 8 year old

Carelessly, frolic in the snow. Go sledding, build a snowman, make snow angels. Get as close to getting frostbite on your nose and fingertips as you can, and then come inside, shake off the snow, mull some wine or spike your cocoa before curling up in front of the fire, with your blankie.

When all else fails, reconnect with your inner child and go sledding
When all else fails, reconnect with your inner child and go sledding

The Nobel Judges Missed a Nominee

Dear Nobel Prize Judges,

The Scientists behind Victoria's Secret Push-Up bras have been overlooked for one of these in physics

In your selection of nominees for outstanding achievement in physics, you overlooked a team of  accomplished researchers who have bent the rules of spacial relations and defied Earth’s gravity.

The scientists behind the Victoria’s Secret Miraculous push-up bra deserve significant recognition. Thanks to their developments in fabric engineering, for the

first time in my 25 years, I have cleavage. It really was miraculous: I looked down and there it was — a bosom. I am not the only lab rat who experienced this phenomenon. There are witnesses and other consumers who have been able to repeat the results of the experiment.

Regards,

Formerly Bosomless

~

I lost my favorite bra at the Atlanta Convention Center. Don’t ask. The resulting shortage of  support-wear meant it was time to cash in my VS gift card and replace the wayward undergarment. Hence the fitting-room laboratory discovery and my subsequent letter to Sweden.

The first time I ever shopped at Victoria’s Secret I was desperate. I was in college, it was exam week, some classmates were coming over for an all-night study session, and I had just gotten out of the shower to face the reality that I hadn’t done my laundry. Sure I could have gone commando, but knowing it would be another day or two before the items in the hamper would make it to the washing machine, I pushed my study-session back, threw my towel in the corner, and hopped on the 1-train.

that signature "don't you want to know what I just bought" pink bag

Prior to this excursion, I viewed the home of Heidi Klum and such other buxom bombshells as a store I had no business shopping in. It was only for those with boyfriends or double-D’s. I had neither. But I was in need of underwear. It was time to go where (I thought) no single, b-cup had gone before.

“Would you like to join our mailing list?” asked the cashier. Empowered and feeling flattered at the thought I could be one of “them,” I boldly answered “Yes.”  With the signature “don’t you want to know what I just bought” pink bag in hand I walked into the street like a victorious general. Victoria was willing to share her secret with me… and I had the goods to prove it.

Now every year for my birthday, my father gives me a Victoria’s Secret gift card. That’s right, some fathers give their daughters Barnes & Nobles or Crate & Barrel gift cards. Some fathers use birthdays to tell their daughters to read more or that they need a new lounge chair. Mine, concerned I’m not “going out” enough, hands me a “go buy some lingerie” card. Et tu, daddy?

Then again, maybe he’s just trying to save me the subway fare when I miss laundry day…. or lose my favorite bra in a convention center.