Sometimes, it’s a piece of information you just don’t need to know about him. Sometimes, it’s a poorly chosen pick-up line. Sometimes, it’s pillow talk gone uncomfortably awry. Sometimes, it’s his misconstrued version of a compliment. Every time, you wish he’d never said it.
The following list has been culled from a variety of friends and media – text messages, late night bar meetings, first dinner dates, 3rd dinner dates, pre and post romps, phone calls, etc. Enjoy, and feel free to add your own “things I wish he hadn’t said” in a comment!
#08: “How much money do you have left?”
#12: “You remind me of my half-sister Liza-Sue.”
#25: “My ex ripped my heart out and stepped on it. Totally trampled it. Would you like to have drinks tomorrow night?
#58: “So I went on a date this past Thursday with this other girl…it was really fun.”
#102: “I’ve been chaste since I broke it off with my fiancé 3 years ago.”
#113: “I can’t wait for you to come over, baby – I’ve been practicing spanking watermelons.”
#146: “I don’t usually date girls with a few extra pounds on them, but you’ve got beautiful brown eyes.”
#189: “One time in juvie…”
#215: “Look, my coat check tag is 69! I think we’re going to have a good time tonight. Hi, I’m Dave, by the way. So, what are you doing later?”
#257: “You’re the most famous person I’ve kissed… which I guess, doesn’t say much for who I’ve dated.”
#278: “Does chloroform turn you on? Cuz, it turns me on.”
#301: His chosen pet name for you is “Moose”
#355: “Hey luv my date for Sat wuz canceled my cock is urs all weekend now”
#403: “Look we can go for drinks if you want, but while you sit there prattling on, I’m just going to be picturing you naked in a hotel room. So maybe we just shouldn’t bother.”
#418: “Damn girl that is a phenomenal ass, looks like two hams fighting for position. mmm! That’s baby makin’ music.”
#444: “I’d like you to meet my imaginary friend, Hebert.”
#502: “The last time I came here with a date, she made out with the bartender.”
#504: “The last time I came here, I was with my cousin. We made out… Should I not have told you that?”